12 WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN EVIL PERSON.

**12 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN EVIL PERSON.**

You’re in charge of your life and you should make the best of it.

While we like to think that we know what an evil, true evil is much more intelligent and will often seem like it’s not there. And that’s why some people can be metaphorically blind, ( They can’t dictate the evil ones around them, That’s seeing the evil ones to be their right ones, they can dine with the evil ones, share their secret, and living a free life with the evil ones) but I can assure you that this article can be of help to dictate the Evil Person around you.

People are essentially good__Whatever they turn out to be, there will always be some good in them. And no matter how much we wish to see the good in everyone, there are those who will be ready to use whatever good is left in them for sinister purpose. This people are genuinely evil, and this is something that they enjoy.

THE 12 SIGNS OF AN EVIL PERSON.

**Evil people are master manipulators, they only take without giving any thing in return.**

TWISTING FACTS. The secret of their trade lies in their ability to twist any fact that they come across, that’s any fact that does not agree with their goals and the manipulative reality they are trying to impose. They are ready to take things out of context, glue them to other things taken out of context until they creat alternative facts that align with their purpose.
MISLEADING PEOPLE. If they find it suitable, they will use some truth to twist it in such a misleading way that you will feel afraid, vulnerable, attacked, hated or incompetent. They know how to pick the right words to evoke any emotion they intend to create in you . In the end, you will start believing in the informations they way they presented. They can creat enemies in your mind usi g simple words; they can make you feel like U’re doing everything wrong. Words are their weapon and they know how to handle it nicely.
DENYING REALITY. The truth you know it to be as such is not something they will agree upon . This people know a different truth and they will never agree with the reality that really is. And this is not a difference of subtle differences. This is facts versus their twisted ideals and interpretation.
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION. If they believe that something will compromise the identity they are trying to create; they are ready to withhold any relevant information about that. “I didn’t lie, not saying anything about it isn’t lying”. Of course, lying or not, they keep this information from others and use their ignorance of the situation to their ends. And if you find out? Not only will they twist the truth and spice things up but will even make you feel guilty of not trusting them.
AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY. Evil people do not have a normal compass. They do as it pleases them and they will never feel responsible for the pain they have caused. If they sensed that some sort of blame is going to hit them, they start redirecting it even before it get to them. They toss their blame onto others and they do not know the meaning of an apology, they find apologizing to be a virtue of the weak, and they know how to get an apology from the anyone they have harmed. And in the end, you will apologize for their mistake, isn’t that inconvenient?
MANIPULATING. They’re masters of manipulation. They know how to plan ten steps ahead and they always know the purpose of their manipulation. If they want to, they will make you feel stupid, they will make you do the things they are not competent at doing, and they know how to take all the credit afterwards, leaving you feeling that you were not competent enough to do what you did .
REMORSELESSNESS. These people will not feel sorry for anyone they have destroyed, are destroying or plan to destroy. They see people as pawns in their game, and they consider the best people to be the best pawns. If they spot the good in you, they will use that good to work for them, and they will treat you like in the process. They do not feel sorry for good people and they see an opportunity in every weakness they expose. It’s because they simply enjoy other people’s pain and they do not see a reason why those people should not experience such pain.
LYING CONSTANTLY. Their form of ‘sincerity’ is the one wrapped up in silver_tongued lies. Lying is their way of expressing themselves. They can not construct of a thought in their head without thinking of how something juicy could also be included too. They lie to gain something out of it and they lie for the pleasure of foolish those around them. And each time you catch them in a lie, they will tell you a dozen more to cover it up. They will ‘sincerely’ explain to you why they were forced to lie about it, and you might even start feeling sorry for them.
LEADING DOUBLE LIVES. This people will never reveal their true lives to you, and saying that they lead double lives is an underestimated expression when it come into question. They lead a hundred lives_ each live more different than the rest. They are different with every person, and they have a well-devised history to tell that would accompany the image they are trying to portray. The common thing about all of them is that nobody really knows their true essence or past .
FAIR_WEATHER FRIENDS. If such a person comes to your aid, know that they have done it for a purpose hat involves them at the end. In other cases, they will be around when things go well and they will disappear When things go sour. You should not expect support from these people, if you get support, know that you are being played and you will end up being the pawn in their well_devised game. They do not see a reason why they should be there for you if there’s nothing in it for them.
CONTROL FREAKS. Of course, to hold everything together, they have to be in complete control over the situation. They will easily get possessive and controlling if they see that someone else is trying to earn your trust and be a genuine friend. The control they have over others is how they can feed of them. If they loose this control, they loose their precious pawns. It’s very simple, really. And it all become very evident once they start loosing control. Everybody can posses one or some of these characteristics. However, put them together, and you’re dealing with someone who is truly evil. Do not expect from them to change for you, as you mean nothing to them. And if you love yourself enough, you should definitely break free from their control and manipulation and go on living your life sorrounded by genuine and sincere people. Nobody is perfect, and if someone is trying to look perfect, they have something they are hiding beneath.
STEALING YOUR TIME. If they know that you have some kind of deadline or other important events with close people and family, they will subtly get under your skin and make you loose track of time. They do not want you to be better than them in any way, so do not expect to be good when they’re around to ruin that expectations. They exactly know when to show up and mess up your plans. In the end, they will even put on a concerned face and watch you loose your mind as things start spiraling down. Time is a very important asset, and they are aware of it .

SIGNS YOU SHOULD STAY AWARE FROM SOMEONE.

**The best medicine for your broken heart is staying away from the evil person who harmed you.**

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS RUINED. Every person who is dealing with an evil guy or girl has one thing in common, a lowered or ruined self_ esteem. Wicked people have the power take any one feel bad about themselves. They do that because they want to be in control. They want to be dominant, that’s their food. Any Evil Person will belittle you, call you names and insult you to lower your confidence and make you feel unworthy of anything because when other people are feeling so low, they feel like a God.
YOU HAVE DEVELOPED UNHEALTHY HABITS. Everybody has their own style of dealing with pains. And when someone is constantly putting you down and breaking your heart, then you have probably developed some habits that are bad for you, such as excessive eating and drinking. You may find some relief in those things, but the best medicine for your broken heart is staying away from the evil person who harmed you.
YOU FEEL GUILTY OF EVERY BAD THAT HAPPENED IN THE RELATIONSHIP. This is probably the most important signs since it’s commonly used by evil people. If you feel like you’re always the one to blame for everything that goes wrong in the relationship, then you’re dealing with a manipulative , Evil Person. When you feel like a scapegoat in all their issues, then you better get out of the relationship fart because your physical, mental and emotional health is in serious trouble.
YOU FEEL TAKEN FOR GRANTED. Wicked people are master manipulators. They only take without giving any thing in return. The word “reciprocate” is not in their vocabulary. They take people for granted and use them for their convenience. And when they no longer have a benefit from them, they toss it away like a piece of garbage. That’s how evil Andy manipulative these people are.
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER PEOPLE GET SEVERELY DAMAGED. Have you found yourself in a situation where after spending time with an Evil Person and absorbing their negativity, you go home and start telling at your husband/wife and kids for no reason? or you get annoyed at your parents or your close friends and you lash out at them. This misplaced anger will damage the relationship you have with other people who love you and care about you. Stop for a moment and ask yourself : who really made you angry?
YOU LACK HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. Wicked people make extremely hard for people to set health boundaries. That’s why relationship with them is a power and they are always the winner. They will lie to you, manipulate you, belittle you, and take you for granted only to prove to themselves and you that they are better than you, that they have more power over you.
YOU ARE SCARED OF SPENDING TIME WITH THEM. If the thought of meeting them gives you chills down your spine, or you feel dreadful having spend time with them, then they are most definitely a bad person. Wicked people make any encounter a traumatic experience. Afterwards, you feel drained and worthless because they have managed to eat away your positivity and self-confidence.
YOU ARE LOOSING CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS. An evil person can make you loose control over yourself and your emotions. And even if you don’t react to their snide comment and ill-treatment of you, you will lose sleep repeating the scene over and over in your head and getting mad at yourself for not saying the things you wanted to say. You start feeling like you’re loosing control because you can’t control your emotions of sudden anger, rage, frustration and sadness.
YOU FIND YOURSELF COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM CONSTANTLY. Complaining about them has become a hobby for you, you find yourself constantly complaining about them and the way they treat you to your family and friends. This is a sign that you may be dealing with a bad person, And even though you can’t stand them, you feel so consumed by them and their toxicity that you can’t get them out of your mind, stop giving them so much power.
YOU STOOP TO THEIR TOXIC LEVEL: If you ever felt so drained and exhausted from dealing with a certain person that you even tried stooping to their level of negativity and evilness only to find your peace, you’re not alone, many people have made the mistake of lowering themselves to the level of an evil person. This is a huge red flag that you must stay away from them in other to find the peace you need.
YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITH THEM. If you’re not happy when you are with someone, then you know what to do. You should never undermine yourself to the point of sacrificing your happiness and your wellbeing for the sake of staying with someone who mistreat you. You should never accept their toxic treatment of you , you’re better by yourself. let them go because if you don’t protect yourself, no one else will. If you don’t have boundaries, everyone can hurt you. You deserve better than someone who hurt your heart on a daily basis.
YOU FEEL RIDICULED AND UNWORTHY. An evil person will do everything to belittle you so that they can feel ‘above’ you. They will ridicule your opinion, mock your appearance and throw insult at you constantly. With time, you will start feeling unworthy of anything good and you may even start feeling ‘lucky’ that they’re putting up with you. How wicked is that?

WHAT DOES EVIL MEANS.

**Evil people do not know the meaning of apology, they find apologizing to be a virtue of the weak.**

Evil people are ready to walk over corpses with no remorse, and they do not pick favourites. If you get in their path, be ready to be used, manipulated, and thrown away like trash without any second thoughts.

The worst is, our nature to try and see the good in everyone can often make us blind to the evil that permeates from them. (And that’s what I also called metaphoric blindness), So.. how to be sure that a person is worth having around? What does it really mean to be evil?

Spot them in someone and you can be sure whatever good is left in them.

HOW TO DEAL WITH AN EVIL PERSON

**Get Away from them, physically and emotionally. Don’t let them drag you down.**

DISTANCE YOURSELF. Distance yourself from people who are bad for you. Protect your energy because Evil people will try to eat away at your positivity and fill you only with negative thought and a bleak Vision of reality. Don’t let their toxicity get to you.
DON’T TRY TO FIGHT THEM. Evil people may try to involve you in an unnecessary drama. They May intentionally hurt you only to watch you in pain because that’s what satisfy them and strokes their ego. And when you do fight back to them, it means that they have managed to get to you. That’s why you shouldn’t accept their invitation to fighting.
GET ANGRY. This is probably counter-intuitive but if you want to disarm an evil person, get angry with them. Because anger is a powerful emotion that if it’s properly distributed, can really change your life for better. You can use the power of anger to make the changes necessary to walk away from the evil person and drastically improve your life.
SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES. If the evil person is your work Coligue or a family member, then you can always protect yourself by setting clear boundaries by limiting your contact with them to a minimum.
RISE ABOVE THEM. Don’t get sucked into their level. Rise above their evil ways. Don’t let their bad treatment of you define you and diminish your self-worth. Get away from them, physically and emotionally. Don’t let them drag you down. Don’t entertain their devilish and immature ways. You’re better than that.
STAY IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS. Practice mindfulness, meditate. Do anything you can do to get hold of your feelings because they are your weapons against them. Don’t let them pish your buttons and make you angry. Stay in control of yourself and your emotions by rationally dealing with them with.
DON’T LET ANYONE STEAL YOUR HAPPINESS. You and only you are responsible for your happiness. No one else. Therefore, don’t allow toxic people to ruin your day. You’re in charge of your life and you should make the best of it.

SIGNS YOUR MARRIAGE IS HEADING FOR DIVORCE.

Most people don’t think of divorce when they do the walk_down _the_ aisle. Most people have the best intention in mind when they get married.

But even with the best intentions, marriage can crumble over time, otherwise, divorce rates would not be as high as they are nowadays. and divorce lawyers would not be as wealthy.

With that in mind, I think married People should always be away of the possibility of a divorce for their own sake and lookout for the sign that it does not come as a surprise.

Note: If you did not know, one of the most lucrative careers a lawyer can pursue is family lawyer and divorce in particular.

So if you want to Know some of the unmistakable signs that your marriage can be headed for divorce, keep reading.

when you leave Completely separate lives under on
when trust is lost.
When he’s stonewalling you
When they start being controlling
when you tell them how what they did or said upset you and they tell you it’s your fault.
when their social life is prioritize over your family life
when they cheat, apologize once and then act as if nothing has happened.
when they cheat and get other women pregnant
when you become indifferent towards each other, not just resentful, not bitter, not super sad or depressed, just indifferent.
when you try or communicate how you feel and the other person is not listening or listens but doesn’t care about what you have said.
when you feel like you’re having the same conversation over and Over again and the other person isn’t listening
when he/she no longer cares about you and your feelings
when affectionall and Emotional connection is lost and he/she has become cold, distant and avoidant
when he/she no longer cares about solving the problems or fixing the issues
when video games are a priority over you
when all of a sudden surgically attached to his/her phone and freaks out when ever you comes near it
when he’s irritated or blames you for the smallest dumbest thing on you when you weren’t even involved or weren’t anywhere in your Control
when he/she moved in with other women/men
when respect is lost
when the Thoughts of them leaving you sounds more of a beautiful fantasy than a nightmare
No sex for many years, no intimacy
when you no longer communicate, not even to argue
when he/she never wants to spend time with you and don’t even hangout together
when you find yourself having the same fight over and over without any resolution
when you feel nothing for each other anymore
holidays apart
Emotionally and mentally clocking out
when you aren’t happy and can’t see the rest of your life that way.
when you search for divorce support on Facebook
when you have had enough of the bullshit
You can’t communicate without a rebuttal or getting defensive
when you’re not Willing to give it another try
when you feel contempt for them
when they invent any excuse not to be home or stay at work very late
when you feel a relief when he/she Left the home for work
of having sex with he/her is just repulsive
when you have fallen out of love
when you’re resentful
The unwillingness to compromise and work with each other
when neither party ceases to put effort in the marriage
when there’s no more physical closeness, you stop kissing, hugging and cuddling
when he has a disregard for the family financial stability
when one is hard hearted
when he keeps too many secret from you
when abuse has taken place in your marriage. financial, verbal, Emotional, physical.
when he/she no longer answers phone calls and stop returning texts
when he/she refuses to change, when he/she stops attending couple’s counselling
when In-laws control the marriage because their opinions weighs more than yours
He/she respects every one else more and it’s obvious he/she treats everyone with respect more than you.
Too much silence

WATCH NOW: The video below for more signs of a doomed relationship.

5 SIGNS OF A DOOMED RELATIONSHIP

Parental Alienation : 6. Signs Of Parental Alienation Syndrome You Need To Know.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a term introduced by child psychiatrist Richard Gardner in 1985 to describe what he believed to be a distinctive suites of behaviours in children that includes showing extreme but unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is the deliberate attempt by one parent to distance his/her from the other parent. The motivation is to destroy the parental bond between his/ her children with the other parent. An attempt to alienate a child from a parent is done for many reasons. Among those reasons, at attempt to punish the other parent for some perceived wrongdoing. Or a personality disorder that keeps the alienating parents from responding to a stressful situations in a rational manner.

Parental Alienation usually develop over time and some of the early Signs of the syndrome include the following:

PROMOTING ANGER TOWARDS THE OTHER PARENT. A parent will speak badly of or criticizes the other parent directly to the child or children. Negative statement about the other parent can be direct or indirect. For instance, the parent may say ” We can’t afford a new dress for the school dance because your father/mother decided to spend the money on vacation with their new friend.” A more direct comment would be, “your father/mother left because he/she didn’t care enough about you to try and make the marriage work.” Either statement is meant to cause the child feel anger towards the other parent. It’s an attempt to use the child to get back at the other parent causing emotional pains.

COVERT ATTEMPT TO PROMOTE ANGER . A parent will speak badly of the other parent within the hearing range of the child or children. There are parents who say they would never say anything negative to their child or children about the other parent. They don’t seem to have any problem saying any negative things to other people though and if their child or children happens to be within hearing distance the better. These people hold themselves up as a “good person”, They want to instill anger in the children towards the other parent without looking bad. It’s easy to say they had no idea the child was listening, so they don’t have to take responsibility for their actions. I like to say they’re being very aggressive in a passive way.

SHARING GROWN UP DETAILS WITH THE CHILD. A parent will make the child privy to the details of the divorce and the ongoing conflict between the parents. They discuss financial problems brought on by the divorce. Make the child aware of legal issues that are ongoing and make it appear that if it weren’t for Dad or Mom, their life would have be easier. Not only can this cause the child to feel anger towards the other parent, it can also make the child to feel responsible for your situation and want to take on responsibilities that are not theirs.

SENDING NEGATIVE MESSAGES TO THE CHILD ABOUT THE OTHER PARENT. A parent will use body language to communicate their dislike of the other parent. The child may witness Dad/Mom roll their eyes or shake their heads at something the other parent did or said. Such body language sends a negative message without a word being spoken. Children are smart and know that a roll of the eyes is a dismissive gesture. One clearly meant to send the message that the other parent is stupid or wrong in some way.

REFUSING TO CO- PARENT REASONABLY. Refusing to be around the other parent or to co- parent with them send the child a negative message also. Children maybe told that their Dad/Mom is always angry and the other parent doesn’t want to be around the anger. The other parent may not be angry at all but, such accusations can cause a child to have unfounded hard feelings towards the other parent.

MAKING FALSE ACCUSATIONS OF ABUSE. A parent may go as far as making false accusations of sexual, physical, emotional abuse against the other parent. If you have small children who are not yet able to communicate exactly what has happened, such accusations can be very dangerous to the child/parent relationship. They may also have severe legal consequences. If a child is too small to talk or communicate what happened, you should insist on a medical examination and an evaluation by a psychiatrist if you suspect or, are accused of abuse . If the child is old enough to speak for themselves and communicate to you that they have not been abused, then it’s your responsibility to help them hold the other parent responsible for the false accusations. Children who have to live with the unresolved conflict and anger of their parents suffer tremendously. Add to the normal Stress separation and divorce the feeling that the child should choose between the parents and you can cause damage that lasts a lifetime. A child is powerless when it comes to ending the conflict he/she is witnessing. They may feel that if they make a choice it will lessen the conflict they have to live with. One parent can cost their child the other parent and their only motivations are revenge, fear, anger or jealousy. It’s a terrible price for Children to have to pay in an assuage a parent feelings. It’s imperative that parents be willing to parent cooperatively after divorce, that they put their child needs first and that their only concern is their child’s Sense of security.

TIPS TO HELP RESTORE A FRACTURED PARENT/CHILD RELATIONSHIP AFTER DIVORCE.

A child’s development is greatly dependent upon the bond they have with both parents. That bonds provides the child with them framework for how they view themselves and the world around them. perhaps more importantly, that bond will determine how well they form relationships with others throughout their life. after a divorce, you may need to restore a fractured parent/child relationship.

Keep the lines of communication with your child open. make phone calls, send emails, and send cards, postcards, or letters. Never allow the child to believe that you’re not thinking of them on a daily basis.
Maintain an interest in the child and what is going on in their life. know who their friends are and what activities they are participating in. Participate in school activities such as parents/teachers conferences, School plays and eating lunch with the child on a regular basis. If you aren’t able to participate due to physical distance between you and the child, then, communicate regularly with your child’s teacher. Request copies of report cards, school pictures. call and help your child do their homework and keep up with what subjects they are taking.
When your phone calls go un- answered. continue to call. If the child does not respond to emails, cards and letters, keep sending them. At least, once a week, attempt to communicate with your child in some way. You will eventually get through to your child that you love him/her and aren’t going away. Allow your child to be angry but don’t allow the child’s anger to cause you to stop reaching out as a parent. Your constant show of love is the thing that will eventually break through that Wall of anger.
If you believe your child is not being told that you called or your emails and letters are not being intercepted, take action. Send letters requesting a return receipt so that the child will have to Sign for them. If you doubt the child being able to accept delivery at home, send letters to the child to his/her school. If you have a Court ordered scheduled for visitation go to your local police department and request they accompany you to pick your child up. If the child is not made available to you, you will then have proof of parental interference in your relationship with your child.
Do not ever stop attempting to communicate with your child. Don’t let a birthday or Christmas pass that you do not send a gift and cards. Don’t allow your child to ever think that you you are not thinking of them on such special occasions.
Your anger at your ex- spouse should never play a role in your relationship with your child. keep the two separate. You may not like being around your ex but if it means continued participation in your child’s life, put your own discomfort on the back burner. Don’t miss a parent/teacher conference, a school play, a church activity or anything else that goes on in your child’s life just because your ex might be there also. Remember, your the parents not the child, so, act like a parent and put your child’s needs first in every situation.
Don’t make excuses for the reason you are not a part of your child’s life. If you have made a conscious choice to not contactor see your children own it. Get honest with yourself about why you made the choice. Once you have done that, you can either continue the status quo and live without your child in your life or make some changes in the way you have dealt with the situation and start trying to re-build the relationship. If the relationship is fractured because of your actions, the only way back is to apologise and be willing to put forth the work and effort no matter how emotionally uncomfortable. Be an adult and do it because, as important as you are to your child’s development, the child is more important is more important to you and the happiness you are able to find in life.

WATCH NOW: 7 SIGNS OF A HARMONI

7 SIGNS OF A HARMONIOUS HOME.

4 CAUSES OF PARENT/CHILD BOND AFTER DIVORCE.

Below are listed four causes of parent/child bond after divorce:

1. A parent’s physical or mental state may keep him/her from being able to relate to the child or take into consideration the child’s needs, such illness as depression, bipolar disorder, drug and alcohol addiction may cause impairments that make difficult for the child to maintain a relationship with the parent.

2. A divorce and the conflict that may come with it can disrupt the child’s life. The child might become hostile towards either or both of the their parents if they feel the parents is failing to meet their needs for security. Normally such situations resolved themselves quickly. However, there are times, anger, hurt feelings can cause a long lasting estrangement between parent and child.

3. One parent may deliberately attempt to cause a rift between their child and the other parent. When a parent purposefully alienate a child from a parent without intervention, the chances to rebuild the child/parent bond grows increasing difficult as time goes by.

4. A parent who isn’t able to handle emotional pains and anger in a constructive way may distance himself/herself from the child to keep from having to deal with their own pain. They may feel that life without the child is easier than dealing with an angry child or dealing with their own discomfort caused by their child’s negative emotions. They will choose to avoid the conflict, even though it means no contact with their child.

Rebuilding a relationship with an estranged child requires participation from both the child and the parent. When a parent reaches out to a child, there are no guarantees that their efforts will pay off but, if no effort is made, the chance of rebuilding the relationship is remote. There is a number of things a parent can do and not do while attempting to connect with an estranged child.

10. REASONS TO STAY TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN.

For some there are reasons to stay together for the children’s sake.

There’s no easy answer to the question, “Should we stay together for the sake of the children?” I do believe that we as parents owe it to our children to put as much effort as possible into making our marriage work. In other words, no parents should divorce without putting their child’s need for an intact family before their needs for a divorce.

Nothing can motivate us to better our situation more than putting another’s need before our own. It has been my observation that majority of parents who divorced don’t seek marital therapy before doing so. The relationship goes south and the solution is divorce. A solution that fits their needs but research has shown is difficult for their children. It’s for that reason the negative effect of divorce on children I believe parents should be committed to making sure they creat a marriage that’s nurturing for not only themselves but their children also. Until you have done all you possibly can to make sure your Marriage can’t be saved, divorce should not be an option.

Over the last several decades, research has shown that Children benefit tremendously when raised by parents in a healthy marriage.

Below Are Few Of The Benefits For Children Of An Intact Family.

Less likely to divorce as adult.
Have fewer emotional problems.
Are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.
Are more likely to attend college than children from divorced parents.
Are less likely to engage in delinquent behaviors as teens.
Make smarter relationship choices and are less likely to become victims of domestic abuse.
Have better relationships with both parents.
Are less likely to become sexually active as young teens.
Are less likely to experience teen pregnancy.
Experience a more financially secure Lifestyle for Children.

5 REASONS NOT TO STAY TOGETHER FOR THE CHILDREN’S SAKE.

People divorce for many reasons, if your only reason for divorce is that you have “grown apart” or you’re “unhappy” then please, work on your marriage. With marriage comes an obligation one that means working on the marriage in spite of times of unhappiness or emotional distance between the spouses.

If however, there’s domestic abuse, verbal abuse, addiction or serial infidelity, leaving the marriage may be the best thing you can do for your children. In order for Children to have healthy relationship, they need to have an example of what a healthy relationship is. If your marriage is full of conflict, you’re teaching your children lessons that could set them up to fail in future adult relationships.

According to sociologist, Paul Amato of penn state University, there are “two categories of Children who are most at risk for future psychological problems: those who grow up with parents who stay married but remain conflicted and hostile, and those whose parents are in low- conflict marriages and divorce anyway”. If your marriage is full of conflict, a divorce will benefit your children in many ways.

Below Are Few Reasons It’s Best To End A High Conflict Marriage.

You will remove your children from the anxiety produced by their parent’s conflict.
Children need to have warm, loving and supportive relationships with parents. The parents who remove them from an environment that is highly conflicted and violent is showing that child that they are loved and supported.
A child’s basic needs include feelings of safety and security. Divorcing a violent spouse means you are making sure those basic needs are met.
Some research suggest that Children exposed to domestic abuse suffer developmentally and do not form attachments to parents. “there are higher rates of “disorganized attachment” amongst this Children.
Children raised in high conflict can become a hyper -vigilant in reaction to perceived conflict or threats. Being around conflict and threats can cause Children to become hostile and aggressive in their dealings with others. Basically, when it comes to divorce and children, a parent should do what they know to be in their child’s best interest. In the case of low conflict marriages, It’s best to keep the family intact. In the case of conflict and violent marriages, Children fare better if their parents divorce. Ultimately, the choice belongs to the children.

Keep this in mind, If your children are happy and secure in their family, you should consider their needs when deciding whether or not to divorce. If your children are exposed to constant anxiety due to hostility in your marriage , please take into consideration the harm been done to them if you decide to stay in an abusive marriage.

14 HABITS OF PEOPLE WHO NEVER GET STRESSED.

Dealing with emergencies at work or in private life can be Very frustrating or exhausting. It’s important that we know how to relieve stress naturally regularly so that those small everyday troubles don’t pile up and become an actual threat to our physical and mental health in long run.

The Consequences Of Stress.

Stress is known to negatively impact the immune system, thus making us more susceptible to infections and chronic disease.

According to WebMD, the Signs and Symptoms of Chronic Stress Include:

1. Low energy

2. Headaches

3. Digestive Issues

4. Pains.

5. Insomnia

6. Frequent colds and infections

7. Depression

8. Acne

9. Obesity

I know for me, when things are stressful, I get a cold sore, very often a cold, can’t sleep even though I’m tied and just can’t stop eating sugar.

Finding simple ways to deal with stress at any given moment has been vital. I learned a lot from Poeple at work and in my private life, who never seem to get stressed even in situations when I’d be easily freaking out.

Today I want to share 14 Habits of Poeple who never get stressed. These have helped me tremendously, Try these in your own everyday life to feel calmer and more positive.

STRESS_FREE LIFE.

1. SET INTENSIONS.

The simple act of setting an intention to feel good that day will help you perceive everything differently. Even when something unexpected Happens, once you have that intention, you’ll be able to deal with whatever comes up in a more positive way.

You’re more likely to be proactive (what can I do about it) rather than reactive (WTF is happening to me? ), so simple set an intention how you want to feel that day and how you want to react in situations.

2. PLAN, BUT DON’T OVER-PLAN.

Having a plan in place can also put you in that proactive mode.

“See, this is happening to me, but I can actually do something about it”.

Or ” I want to achieve this and this is how I plan to do it”

Once you have a plan, you know where you’re headed and what the next step is, it helps minimize the Stress and anxiety that comes with uncertainty. Don’t forget to include self-care services in that plan.

When you make that plan, keep in mind that life does whatever it wants and you need to adjust as you move forward.

So be nice to yourself and allow flexibility in your plan. you don’t want to end up constantly blaming yourself for not sticking exactly to what you’ve planned because other things comes up.

“When ones expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciate everything one does have”. —– Stephen Hawking.

3. MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS.

Very often we get stressed because we think we can do better.

We can always do more with our time, with our lives, in our relationships, at work…it just never stops. there’s always more to do and accomplish .

which can be a good thing become it creates an urgency to do something about the things that are important to us.

But, if you’re not careful, it can become pretty overwhelming.

That desire to do more can put you in a place where it’s never enough and you’re never happy with how much you have done. You start guilt tripping and beating yourself up over probably nothing.

4. LISTEN TO MUSIC.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t really like music. Not everyone likes TV or Movies, but music? we all have a list of favourite songs that just make us smile.

Good thing is, listening to the music you love is one of the best ways to reduce Stress and anxiety.

Studies with coronary heart disease patients suggest that listening to music can help reduce anxiety and improve heart rate, blood pressure and quality of sleep.

5. SPEND TIME IN NATURE.

Studies have shown spending time in nature is beneficial for our mental and cardiovascular heath.

Spending more time in nature could be the key to happiness according to research.

we’re surrounded by technology more and more, but we’re made to be in nature and we’re made from nature.

When you spend half an hour in a park or in the beach, how do you feel? Refreshed! Right? like you can actually breath now? calmer?.

Keep doing this. Go out for walks, hike, gardens, spend time with your friends and family outside.

6. EXERCISE.

Today, even My neighbor’s cat knows exercise is very important to your brain health.

When you exercise and move your body, You don’t just do it to look good, you do it because it makes you feel good and it affect Other part of your life too.

One huge benefit of exercise, especially aerobic, sweaty exercise, is that after a certain amount of time your body starts to produce endorphins. We know endorphins as something that put us in a better mood, but not many people realize it that they are natural pain killers, that we can produce on our own.

So whether you’re stressed, in pain, not feeling good physical or mentally– do some exercise, at least 10 minutes and see if you will start feeling better.

I Know for me, whenever I stopped exercising for a week, I get a little bit depressed, more reactive, mean and fearful. A 10_20 minutes walkout a day can change a lot.

7. EXPRESS GRATITUDE.

Today we are told left and right we need to be grateful for everything we have and stop looking at what we don’t have.

It’s just that sometimes when you’re worried and stressed out, you don’t honestly believe that can help. But it can actually can. Even research shows People who count their blessings are overall happier than people who don’t.

Expressing gratitude for what is good in your life is one of the most powerful things you can do when you’re anxious, overwhelmed or depressed.

It’s a reminder that life is so much bigger than this moment, this struggle right now.

“You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages”.____ Michelle Obama.

8. REMIND YOURSELF: NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

Look back and ask yourself: How often were you stressed out because of X in the past? Now be honest: Was all that worry worth it? Probably not. It might even seem silly from the distance.

Everything passes and what’s stressing you out today might in a month or year or 5 years. Life moves in a way nobody can predict it, but one thing is for sure.

Nothing will stay the same, so keep yourself calm by reminding yourself this is not the most important thing that is going to happen in your life.

Even if you’re going through something difficult right now, know that this will not go on forever. Other things are going to happen and time really heals.

9. DO YOGA.

Yoga makes you stronger. Many studies show yoga is beneficial to our physical and also mental health. I know whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, even 10 minutes of yoga can get me out of that negative mindset and help me start fresh. Even if it’s in the middle of the day, it really feels restorative.

10. DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

Studies show people who are kind and help others are happier. and when you’re happy, you’re less stressed. If you’ve ever done something good for someone else, you know that warm feeling. it’s pretty magical.

Fill your life with experience that give you this feeling.

Studies also show that counting your act of kindness at the end of the week or day, increases happiness, even more. So do good and remind yourself of it.

11. PET AN ANIMAL.

Animals are adorable, playful and make our lives so much better. They don’t need to be productive, animals don’t need to make a career to feel like there are Worth it. They just are, Many of them enjoy being petted by humans. Do it! Petting an animal can help reduce blood pressure and cortisol levels, which is a stress hormone.

12. EAT HEALTHY.

Stress can exhaust the body’s reserves for many vitamins and nutrients. Therefore, it’s important that we still eat healthy, even we’re under pressure.

Eating more fruits and vegetables will supply your body with essential vitamins like vitamin C, which is According to this article in psychology today is an important nutrients for stress management.

Eating clean is a self-care Habits, it’s a form of self-respect. When you make the conscious choice that you want to eat clean, you’re telling yourself: I’m worth it. Don’t treat your body like a trash can.

13. WRITE IT DOWN:

Identity what is causing stress in your life and write about it.

Whether you journal or just decide to write it on a piece of paper that you are going to throw out right after doesn’t matter.

You probably know what is stressing you on some levels, but you need to let it out in some form .

Writing it down is a very peaceful way to do it and will help a lot. It will help you figure out whether you can do something about it or not. If you can change it, You, of course need to take action.

If you can’t change it or do anything about it, then it’s really not in your Control. Simply admitting that and surrendering, as much as you can, will lift a lot of weight off of you. You are not responsible for everything in this world.

“It does not matter how slowly you go, As long as you do not stop”.____ Confucius.

14. PRACTICE SELF-DISCIPLINE.

If you’re stressed because you’re not doing what you should be doing, change it. Don’t let that thing become too big to handle in your head. Start and finish it.

Practice Self-discipline, it’s not very easy in the beginning, but it pays off, the more empowered, positive and proud of yourself you will feel.

The last thing I feel like doing in the evening, after cleaning, preparing food, running errands , running after a toddler and dealing with 1000 Other unexpected things all day is to sit down and write this blog. But most days I sit down and do something for this blog.

And this simple act of Self-discipline, even if it doesn’t earn me a Nobel prize or any other award, makes me happier, more accomplished and calmer.

5 HABITS THAT ARE MAKING YOUR DEPRESSION WORSE.

5 Habits That Are Making Your Depression Worse.

This pass few weeks have been very difficult for me. I constantly had sleepless nights. I have spent days lying bed, staring at the ceiling with a million thoughts rushing through my head, depression was eating me alive, again.

I felt life I was a criminal, trapped in my own body, chained in my own thoughts. I wanted everything to just stop, I wanted to scream, I wanted to get up but depression was consuming every bit of life left with me.

I’ve had this episode for weeks. I was trapped in a living nightmare. though that Stress was the main reason why I was in this place, I’ve come to realize that some of my Small daily Habits were also dragging me back in this hole.

So, I have decided to recognize those little Habits and slowly change them as much as I can, in the hopes of making the dark days easier and more bearable.

And I wanted to share this with you too. That’s why today, I have decided to share with you 5 Habits That Are Making Your Depression Worse.

DWELLING ON STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: Oftentimes, Stress is what pushes me back to my dark days. It drags me back into this deep holes where depression chains me.

When a stressful event arises, we usually dwell on it. Instead of finding options to fix and deal with it, we choose to think about it over and over again. and doing this was eating me alive.

When you have depression, coping with stressful situations can be extra difficult. that’s what it’s for me. but we have to learn to fight back and find a way to manage Stress better.

So, I started to recognize the things or actions that makes me feel calmer, actions that will help separate me from my thoughts and I looked for ways on how I can implement those in my way of managing stress. Doing this helped me a lot.

AVOIDING SUNLIGHT:

I hated seeing any trace of sunlight beaming through my windows because this means that I have to get through yet another painful day. So, I placed large and thick curtain to hide from the sun without knowing that this is only doing more harm than good.

Until my sister decided to get ride of my thick curtains, I then realized that avoiding the sunlight was completely not helping. Being able to see the sunrise or even letting a little sunlight it made me feel better, as cliche as this may sound but it gave me hope__ hope that Maybe today will be different.

It may not have completely made everything okay but it made everything feel lighter.

AVOIDING PHYSICAL ACTIVITY:

When you’re living in depression, even the simplest task, like getting out of bed is a constant challenge taking a shower is a chore and staying in bed is always a go_to.

It’s not because we’re lazy or we’re just choosing not to, it’s because we literally can’t. But the more I let depressed chain me to my bed, the more I’m giving it control over me and the worse I feel.

For instance, the other day I was having yet another dark day, I was lying in bed and sharing blankly at nothing then I let my sister talk me into going swimming.

Though it took all the energy left in me to say yes and do it, it made me feel so much better. I laughed and everything felt lighter.

Try to stand up and do something that makes you feel good. I know it’s difficult and sometimes quite impossible but it’s worth it.

So, start small and set small goals, if you feel like you can still do another thing after completing one task, then add one more task. as long as you’re trying that’s more than enough.

WATCHING THE NEWS:

I loved watching the news. I found it entertaining and I love knowing what is happening with the world. But after being diagnosed with depression, watching so much negativity and seeing how unfair life is, just made me hate living more. Not only does seeing all the crimes and accidents trigger my anxiety but it just worsens my depression.

Sure, being informed is a good thing But the feeling I get after watching it is just not worth it.

It’s time to let go of the negativity in your life, to let go of the past. it’s time to change your mindset and add a little happiness to your life.

This video will help you to let go of the negativity of life and change your mindset.

SOCIAL ISOLATION:

When life gets too overwhelming and when your depression is eating you alive, talking to someone or reaching out for support can be very difficult. I understand how difficult it’s to ask for help when even getting out of bed feels like an impossible chore.

But having a support system is exactly what we need during this time.

I also had this fear of opening up to someone and asking for their help, I feared that people will either dismiss what I’m feeling or judge me.

But when I started to slowly let people in, I realized that not everyone will judge you. They may not understand what you’re feeling but they will be there for you, they will be there to listen.

While changing this bad Habits nay not complete make my depression go and stay away but it does make it a whole lot easier.

And that for me is enough.

So, recognize those Habits that are feeding your depression and start by changing them one day at a time. keep fighting, we can do this!

THE ONE THING HOLDING YOU BACK FROM THE SUCCESS YOU DESIRE.

Confidence is a game-changer when it comes to reaching your goals, and to fulfilling your true purpose. It’s the different between having a dream and making that dream into a reality. Confidence is key to being an effective leader, a better partner, and to being successful overall.

So, what if you struggle with self_doubt? what if you don’t feel very confident with yourself, your skills and your abilities?

Listen, you know I got you! I’m going to briefly share some of the most effective ways to start increasing your confidence today.

But first, let’s talk About why you don’t have the confidence you want, you might not want to go down This road, I know! But sometimes taking a couple steps back to evaluate a thing is a way can make all the difference. ( And save So much time) When you start to take those steps forward.

So before we head into the step to build confidence, I urge you to pause and consider the following questions:

Why do I question the validity of my abilities, thoughts, and opinions?
What stop me from going to the next level in my life, career, business?
What excuses have I been making?
When am I going to stop making excuses?
Am I the de-motivated person I compare myself with others’ perceived progress and achievement?

That last question strike a major chord to me, Y’all, so I’m going to go into it just a little bit.

Tell me in the comments if you struggle with this too.

Sometimes, our lack of confidence is stemmed in our addiction to social comparison.

We can get caught in the trap of seeing another’s qualities, skills, abilities as superior to our own . comparing ourselves to others can be extremely detrimental for our own sense of value to the skills and the abilities we have.

And it’s just too easy to do in our present-day society. right? With all the social media platforms, the opportunities to look to the Left and right, and to see the highlight reels of everyone’s life.

We can do some major damage to our capacity to build confidence and to grow into the beautifully intelligent and capable being God created us to be because we can be so consumed with comparing ourselves to others.

If you’re insecure, Guess what? the rest of the world is, too. do not overestimate the competition and underestimate your self. You’re better than you think. T. Harv Eker.

If self doubt is your trouble, please set yourself free from that trap.

Here Are Some Ways To Do It:

ACCOMPLISH A GOAL: There’s nothing quite like setting a goal for yourself and putting forth the effort to achieve that goal. The feeling that comes as a result is the realest Confidence- builder. trust me, You’ll feel like such a bawse once you’ve crossed that finish line.

But you can’t skimp on the goals you set. and you can’t skimp on your determination. shoot for the moon, man. accomplish the thing you’ve been told you will never accomplish. do the one thing that makes your heart race and the blood run cold in your veins. find out if it’s really as hard as you’re making it up in your mind to be. Will seem so simple once it’s finally overcome.

The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.
William Jennings Bryan.

ASK YOUR TRIBE: Some example questions can be “What are the things I’m good at doing? ” “What are some qualities you values in me and in our relationship?” ” What do I bring to the table?” this one can get a little tricky because we don’t want to rely too heavily on everybody else to feed us confidence or boost our egos. the idea is to be able to pull the confidence from God and from your believe in the skills and talents he’s giving you, right? but this activity can serve as a starting point for those of us who have a harder time coming up with a list of positive things about ourselves. Write them down, study them if you have to! get it ingrained in your mind that you are all of this things. and walk in that Truth.

SELF-CARE ALL DAY: Now, we’re getting to the fun stuff! Listen, We all know that when you look good, you feel, Go shopping, you feel better when you’re rested. get a full night’s rest! when you can add champagne into the mix, you feel best. A couple or five mimosas never hurt anyone. Whatever you do for self-care, make sure you creat an ongoing routine ( maybe don’t make the alcohol routine so much? ) I talk more about self-care in this post!

SET CONFIDENCE – BOOSTING REMINDERS: Set Calendar appointment that pop up and remind you how freaking awesome you are, how you’re killing it today, how you’re such a #girlboss. Seeing is believing sometimes! another way I used in college was taking some dry erase markers to my mirror. I would write all sorts of things I knew I needed to be reminded of- Bible verses, motivating quotes, single discriptive words for myself. If calendar appointment confidence reminders and writing on the mirror are kind of Corny for you, that’s cool. I get it. I have also taken time out to listen to motivational YouTube videos and my meditation App, which has brief guided meditations on being fearless and releasing self- doubt. They come in the clutch, let me tell you!

BONUS! GET PURPOSE- FOCUSED: Do you know your reason for being here? what’s driving you and motivating you on a daily basis? get laser- focused on that thing. As you progress and become an expert in this area, so will your confidence.

The bottom line is this: you were not giving the spirit of dear. you were made to be bold, to be beautiful, to leave your mark on this world and to make it better. Be confidence in who it is God made you to be, free of self- doubt.

3. CRITICAL REASONS WHY YOU HAVEN’T FIND YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE. AND HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY.

Find your purpose when you stop doing these things

At one point or another, most have tried to figure out just what the heck their purpose in life is.

If you have ever go

felt frustrated with not knowing what to decide, what major to declare, which career path to choose, which road to take, you’re far from being alone.

Here Are Some Reasons You Might Have Not Have Landed On Your Purpose Yet, And Helpful Suggestions On How To Stop.

You’re Not Addressing Your Limiting Beliefs.
You’re Focusing On Things Outside Of Your Scope Of Control.
You Aren’t Really Celebrating Other People’s Success.

LET’S GET INTO IT:

1. YOU’RE NOT ADDRESSING YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS: A limiting belief is a story you tell yourself that put a cap on your own trust in your capacity to do or be something.

In other words, you’re basically out here hating on your own self.

You’re getting in your own way, and in your head. Subconsciously doubting whether or not you can do what you want.

You’re questioning your ability to have what you really and truly desire.

You’re afraid, even, to let yourself really dream about what happiness looks like in your life.

And, It’s not Surprise, That Most limiting beliefs starts in childhood and grow more and more concrete as we get older.

Unfortunately, They tend to become part of our identity.

This Is How Limiting Beliefs Might Show Up For You:

Believing You need more make-up to take a selfie. (“I’m not pretty enough”).
Thinking You’re too old to make a career change and succeed. (“I’m not good enough”).
Ruminating about what one person spoke over you in childhood. (“I don’t have a good brain”).
You have never seen anyone in your family do it, So how can you? (“I will always struggle with money”).

Get Clear On Who You Are And Where YOu Are Headed.

WAYS TO QUIT LIMITING YOURSELF:

The first way to quickly put a stop on your limiting Beliefs is to practice saying Positive Affirmations.

And I know a lot of people roll their eyes when they hear “Positive Affirmations” . It seems like a fluff exercise when you have never done it.

But it’s anything, but Fluff if it’s done right.

See, Positive Affirmations don’t work if you’re trying to tell yourself something that is completely opposed to how you feel. If it doesn’t resonate to somewhere inside of you, no matter how many times you say it, those words will not take action.

Most of the time, Growing into the person we look up to (Or secretly jealous of) . Requires discomfort and pains.

But, unfortunately, we have been trained to think that pains equals being unhappy. so we run around from distraction to distraction, convincing ourselves that the stuff of life will make us happier.

when really feeling the pain can end up in unheard-of levels of happiness.

Work with affirmation is actually doing the work to see where you’re believing untruths about yourself.

Then, either creating affirmations around what the truth is, or finding ones that really speaks to that empty part of you.

Recommended Reading:

3. Healthy Tips To Supercharge Your Work Success.
Discover Simple Tricks To Stop Over Thinking And Find Mental Peace.

2. YOU’RE FOCUSING ON THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL: The stoic had it right when it comes to the belief in working to accept the things you can’t control.

Finding Purpose Has A Lot To Do With Having Mental Fortitude.

You have to be able to use logic on what can be a challenging journey (and learn less on emotion).

What that means is learning how to remain focused, no matter what is going on around you.

It will be really hard to find out what it’s you are meant to do if you’re stuck ruminating over something that happened in the past, that you have no ability to change.

It’s a challenge to work on self_discovery ideals if you are regretting certain decisions you made in the past.

You Won’t Get To Happiness By Holding Unto Things That Have Already Happened. (And That Are Happening But You Have Very Little Control Over).

Let it go, Let it be what it is. Learn to accept it and Move on.

Among Other Things, Stoicism is about identifying whether or not something can be done about a painful or challenging occurrence .

If it’s something that can’t be actively changed, then, the work of acceptance comes in.

Happiness is a function of accepting what is.
Werner Erhard.

Or, you can choose to turn the obstacle into an opportunity.

There are lessons in any experience_ good or bad. facing failure, pain, suffering is all a part of living daily life.

When you can accept that these experiences are embedded in life, shifting your focus to what you can control helps you to continue to move forward.

And Continuing To Move Forward, To Take Action, Is What Will Lead You To Your Purpose.

The impediment to action advances action. what stands in the way becomes the way.
Marcus Aurelius.

So, What Can You Control In Any Given Situation?

You Can Control These Things:

Your thoughts and the stories you create.
The feelings you have.
How you react to your emotions.

When I was working at one of my previous jobs, When Sunday evening came, I would automatically slip into this deep sadness.

The thoughts that would go through my mind were along the lines of “I’m stuck at this job, I really can’t stand” “I have so much to offer and I’m here”. “How can anyone be happy working here?” “I wish I’d made better choices, and now I’m so far behind everybody else my age”.

There’s a lot more to unpack with all of this thoughts. But the point is I was letting all of this negative thoughts about where I spent the majority of my time keep me in a loop of depression

Thoughts lead into your emotions which a lot of times, dictate our behaviors. We become what we think and my negative thought made me into a negative person.

Those thoughts bled into every part of my life. they carried into a negative thinking about my relationships, friendships, my capabilities, my spiritual life.

Everything was affected by those automatic thoughts I’d allow to run rampant.

I give that example to say this:

Check your thoughts, Make sure you’re Focusing on things within your Control.

For me and that job I dislike so much, What I could control was my attitude. I could control wether I did a good job there or bad one.

Making relationships and connections that could set me up to get out of there is something I could’ve focused more on.

Because my thoughts led to me sitting and crying at my desk, doing the bare minimum, and into being blinded by any possible opportunities.

And finding your purpose is literally all about seeing all of the opportunities and possibilities.

Here Are The Steps To Break Out Of Negative Thoughts, Negative Emotion Pattern:

Think about your thoughts.
Visualize a different outcome
Creat a morning (or nightly) routine around gratitude.

First, Think about what you’re thinking about.

How you can do this is by slowing down, a lost art in today’s fast microwave culture.

Keep a daily or weekly journal about your thoughts, trying to connect those subconscious thoughts with how you felt during the day.

Connect all of the thoughts through to the conclusion or the outcome of that initial thoughts.

Ultimately, recognizing the initial thought empowers you to create a different story.

You choose what you feel, You choose how you behave.

You choose your purpose and your Happiness.

If You want to be happy, be.
Leo Tolstoy

Second, Visualize an outcome different from what you’re used to. Break the negative loop by thinking something completely different. close your eyes and envision having a great day. picture having the best day you’ve had in a long time.

This is the day that everything goes according to plan, you laugh, you enjoy a d you’re fully present.

Take note of how the exercise makes you feel.

How Do You Think You’d Feel At The End Of A Day Like This.

Third, practice daily gratitude. This can be another journalising exercise. take a minute to write one thing after everyday that you can be grateful for.

And it might be hard at first to think of even one thing.

One Line, one sentence everyday. and you get bonus points if you build this into a habit.

You Will See Your Daily Gratitude Start To Change How You Look At Life From Moment To Moment.

Instead of looking for all of the things that reinforce the believe that your life is crap, you will search for the things that makes it actually kind of good.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, creates a vision for tomorrow.
Melody Beattie

3. YOU AREN’T REALLY HAPPY FOR OTHER PEOPLE:

Finally, the third critical reason why you haven’t found your purpose yet is that you’re busy being jealous of other people’s success.

You might wants to be happy for them, But deep down….

You wish their success was your own.
You engage in a sort of obsession with how They are doing it.
You ask yourself Why them and not Me?

This line of thinking is detrimental to your own journey of finding Purpose and happiness.

Each of our path is our own.

Every single one of us has struggles and challenges along the way. Again, it is all a part of life and the Human experience.

When you take only the happy snapshots of another person’s life, comparing it to what your daily life might look like at moment, what you’re really doing is creating excuses for yourself to not try.

You are perpetuating procrastination and halting the very action needed to find your own true purpose.

How you can actually be happy for other people’s success is by starting on creating your own.

Sounds simple enough right?

It takes moving towards what you really wants in life.

And that takes sitting down somewhere and mulling it over.

You have to invest time in considering your likes and dislikes, what you’re naturally good at, what lights you up, what you can’t stop talking about.

When you take action, you’ll start to see your own small wins and Successes.

When you feel like you aren’t loosing all the time, you can find true happiness for the person winning besides you.

Because we are all winning if we choose to do so.

5 THINGS YOU MUST TELL YOUR KIDS BEFORE YOU DIE.

There are certain things that we all need to hear, no matter how old we are and we want to hear them directly from our parents.

Whether we are little ones, teen, young adult or grown adults… We are never too young or too old to hear these important 5 things am about to share with you .

Before we dive in, this article is not just applies only for parents! Maybe you are a parent now or you are planning on having children, or maybe you are a guardian, grandparent, an aunty or uncle, or maybe you are a leader in your community where younger people look up to you for empowerment.

What would our world be like if everyday parents and role models were sharing these messages with younger generation.

Below are the 5 Important things to tell your kids before you die.

THANK YOU__YOU GIVE MY LIFE PURPOSE AND JOY: There’s nothing in life more valuable than the relationships we have with our loved ones. This relationships bring purpose into our lives and joy. The purpose of Parenthood is unlike anything else, giving life to and raising another human being… bring a new level of depth and meaning to our life journey. Tell your children this! Let them know the gravity of their value, purpose and meaning in your life, how much they have enriched your world.
I LOVE YOU__ EVERY MOMENT, INCLUDING ALL THE TIMES I DON’T SAY IT OR ACT THAT WAY: People of all ages need to receive love and affirmation to support them on their journey in life, and it’s very important to get that directly from parents or quardians. Children look directly to their parents and role models (Guardian and grandparents for example) for bonding, security, safety, acceptance and unconditional love.It not enough to be loving, this world can be a challenging place and each soul. Needs to hear the word “I love you” .
I’M SORRY__FOR ANYTHING I HAVE SAID OR DONE, OR NOT SAID OR DONE THAT MIGHT HAVE LET YOU DOWN: No one is perfect and the ability to say “I’m sorry” goes a long way to building bonds and sense of security in a relationship. While most of us know this, we may not think about this in terms of parents/Child relationship. Most of the time we immediately of children needing to say sorry for doing something wrong, or not meeting expectations or being naughty. But what about when adult gets it wrong? When adult say sorry, it teaches children valuable lessons in humility, making amends and forgiveness and it also builds a level of trust.
YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE PERSON__WHAT I APPRECIATE MOST ABOUT YOU IS… : How well does it feel when someone praises you for some inherent part of your nature/personality. It’s a huge affirmation, a conference booster, a wave of love washes over you. By praising children, we cement the essentials for life…self esteem, self confidence, self belief and self love.
I’M PROUD OF YOU__FOR WHO YOU ARE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO: In a society that is built to condition people to strive to be more, get more and do more, so many children grew up thinking they need to achieve certain standard in order to be loved and in order for their parents to be proud of them. Because social media, mass media, news and advertising are working hard to condition young mind to become more, do more, get more, succeed strive, and look in a certain way in order to be “good”, it’s our job to tell the children in our lives that we are proud of them, full stop. we are proud of them for who they are as a person, no matter what they do. Children need to know that there is nothing they can do, or not do, say or not say that can make them less or more loved, they are magical just as they are. This gives children the mindset and emotional foundation necessary to thrive in their life…so they can go out into life to creatively and intuitively follow their heart’s desires to whatever they freely choose to be, do and experience in this world. Not for validation or acceptance, just for the joy of it.

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12 DOCUMENTS TO ORGANIZE NOW, SO YOU DON’T BURDEN YOUR CHILDREN.

12 DOCUMENTS TO ORGANIZE NOW- BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

Don’t leave a burden for your next of kin. Regardless of your age, this is very important.

In the daily hustle and bustle that’s life. Being prepared for our demise isn’t usually a top priority . But what if you fall gravely ill or die unexpectedly? Will your loved ones know what to do and, most importantly, where to look for important paperwork to guide their decision-making?

We asked RICK KOLlAUF, director of business advisory with BMO private bank in Milwaukee, and Karen McMillan, a certified financial planner and portfolio counselor with Osborne partners capital management in San Fransisco, to share a least of the most important documents to keep handy, why you need them, and what happens without them. Here’s what they shared:

WILL.

Why You Need It: To choose an executor and spell out your final wishes for how your estate should be distributed after you die.

What Happens without it: You die “intestate” and your assets go through probate, where your state’s intestacy laws determines how to pay your debts and distribute your assets according to survivorship rights in that state, Mcmillan says.

2. LEAVING REVOCABLE TRUST.

Why You Need It: To retain control of your assets while you’re alive and to appoint a trustee to transfer assets directly to your beneficiaries, avoiding probate.

What Happens Without It: Your estate goes through probate. However, a trust needs to be properly funded to work. Meaning, you have transferred ownership and titles of all of your assets from your own name to the trust name, KOLlAUF said.

3. LIVING WILL.

Why You Need It: To state your preferences for end-of life medical treatment when you become incapacitated or terminally ill, and you can’t speak for yourself.

What Happens without it: State law determines who makes this decisions in order of closest relationship. Also, any disagreements on life-sustaining care can wind up in court (Think:Teri Schiavo).

4. HEALTH CARE POWER OF ATTORNEY.

Why You Need It: To give someone you trust the final say about your medical care when you become incapacitated or seriously injured.

What Happens Without It: State law dictate who can make medical decisions on your behalf. But if conflict arise among relatives, the battle could go to court. Says McMillan.

5. FINANCE POWER OF ATTORNEY.

Why You Need It: To give someone permission and authority to manage your finances when you can’t do it yourself due to illness or distance.

What Happens Without It: No one can access your financial account or pay bill on your behalf. That could put you behind on meeting your financial obligations and rack up debt, Says KOLlAUF.

6. DESIGNATED BENEFICIAL ACCOUNT.

Why You Need It: To ensure your beneficiaries can easily file a claim and receive any benefit you have left in their name on life insurance, retirement, and annuity account.

What Happens Without It: Your survivors will have to inventory all of your assets to figure out which companies hold this policies, KOLlAUF says. That can take substantial time and effort.

7. COPY OF MARRIAGE LICENSES/DIVORCE DECREES.

Why You Need It: To transfer ownership of assets to a surviving spouse.

What Happens Without It: It could take a few weeks or more to order a certified marriage license or a divorce decree, which are both critical to establishing (or disproving) spousal benefit and entitlements.

8. COPY OF LATEST FEDERAL TAX RETURNS.

Why You Need It: To help your agent file your taxes if you become incapacitated, or to file a final tax return after you die.

What Happens Without It: Your taxes could be filed late, incurring penalties and liens. If you use an accountant, list his or her contact information with your tax returns too.

9. FINANCING ACCOUNT.

Why You Need It: To identify what banks and other financial institutions you do businesses with to pay bills or district assets.

What Happens Without It: Again, it will take detective work and time to get to the bottom of it. Meanwhile, your bills will go unpaid and assets distributions could be delayed. Tip: designating your bank accounts “transferable on death” to specific beneficiaries keeps them out of probated, KOLlAUF says.

10. LETTER OF INSTRUCTIONS/INTENT.

Why You Need It: To give your executor clear directions on how to manage/ distributions your estate.

What Happens Without It: It’s a Free_for _ all among your survivors, McMillan says.

Items to include in the letter of intent: Personal property assistance, pet care wishes, passwords and logging to online accounts, where to find titles, deeds and other paperwork, contact info and names of your lawyer, accountant and other professionals, safety deposit box and key location, social security number, birth certificate for you and minor children, and other key paperwork.

11. FUNERAL PLAN.

Why You Need It: To make it clear what can (if any) memorial service you want and whether you want a burial or cremation.

What Happens Without It: It is not a legal document, but it makes your loved ones’ lives much easier when the clock is ticking and decions need to be made quickly, McMillan says. If you’ve pre_purchased a burial plot, cremation or service, you’ll want to leave a copy behind in a place loved ones can easily find it, she adds.

12. BUSINESS SUCCESSION PLAN.

Why You Need It: To outline what should happen to your business and who should be in control if you die or become incapacitated.

What Happens Without It: Your business (and your employees) could suffer financially, and operations might be impacted. Ideally, your business should have its own trust, separate from a personal trust, with a special trustee named to keep things running smoothly, KOLlAUF advises.

Documents to include in the business file: Certificate of ownership, operating licenses, titles or deeds to real property, crontracts, stocks/investment, articles of incorporation, bylaws and emergency plans, etc.

10.SIGNS YOU WERE RAISED BY A TOXIC PARENT.

When you have a child, your entire life changes. suddenly, everything is for the baby.

Every parents wants to be able to do write by their kids. But there are many things that stands between you and not being a good parents, but the kind of parent your child needs, that is the right way to look at it, good and bad are relative.

But all kids approximately needs the same thing in order to grow into happy, healthy, successful human beings.

Parents neglect to give their kids what they need for a lot of reasons. I’ve seen parents read so many parenting books that they end up not knowing which way is the right way. I’ve also seen parents who just don’t care, letting their kids do whatever they feel like, or, even worse, neglecting and abusing them.

One thing is for sure: there are a number of truly toxic parenting behaviors that imprint on our kids and deeply, profoundly impact their life growing up.

These are habits and actions that you should be avoided at all cost. Some are physical, some psychological and some are social.

Here Are 11. Signs That You Were Raised By A Toxic Parents, And How It Affects You As An Adult

They Never Respect Boundaries : It’s important for parents to think about the boundaries they have set for their children. In my home, my parents established a very important boundaries : Stay out of the parents’ bathroom. Stay out of mom’s office. Stay out of dad’s man cave. There were good reasons for those rules! You’re adults ; you own things like porno mags like marital aids. You don’t want kids to get into that! But kids also have things they don’t want you to get into, too. You can’t expect kids to feel like respected individuals if you also don’t honor their personal space and boundaries too. When your Kids get older and into their teen years, you should not be snooping, they don’t go through your underwear drawer, you shouldn’t go through theirs either. They are old enough that simply talking to them about worries uou might have are good enough. Use your words, don’t be intrusive.
They Didn’t Provide Affirmations And Security: A lot of parents, stereotypical macho dads type especially, thinks that punishment is king. It takes tough love to shape and sculpt young boys into strong, capable young men. But tough love isn’t how you make sure your kids can take care of themselves. By punishing your children over every little thing, you cripple their ability to be strong in the face of life challenges, because any sign of failure will be met with swift something. Not punishment but something, disappointment, frustration, anger, withholding. We should be teaching our kids about the world as an adult. When you’re an adult and you fail at something, you don’t have some authority figure that takes away your gameboy until you fo better. You try harder to do better, and that comes from within.
They Were Overly Critical : We all have dreams or goals that we don’t achieve. Maybe you wanted to be a football star but you tore your ACL in high school and all that went out the window. Maybe you were almost the math league champ but didn’t quite make it. One thing is for sure: you should nit be projecting your failures into your children. You can’t force your kids to be something you wished you were. When you fo that, you crush their self esteem. When you project what you want for your kids unto them without letting them choose, and when you level unrealistic expectations, you don’t make them better or stronger. You make them weaker and less likely to be empowered with the tools to take on the challenges of their adult lives.
They Didn’t Follow Through :Parents want to be their kids’ best friends. But that’s not what kids want. You don’t want to unintentionally raise a terrible adult, and one of the ways you avoid that is by setting rules and actually following through with them. If you’re a new parent, it is good to experiment a little to see what works and what doesn’t. But at point, you have to see what guidelines and rules works and actually follow through on them. No parents wants to purnish their kids, No parnets wants to tell their kids what’s what and see those tears well up. But you need to be able to not manipulate but adjust the mindset of your kids through these guidelines. You don’t want yo crush bad habits but develop and incentivize good habits.
They Don’t Give You Space : As your kids get older, they need space from you. This is an important parts of growing up. At some point, you have to stop telling them what to do and you have to stop doing important things for them. You can’t do their home work, you can’t do their college entrance essay. At some point, you have to look at your kid and say “Figure it out, I’ll help if you need me too”. But even then, make sure you’re not doing anything of the figuring out for them. Be ready to let your “Baby” go when they know they need to figure things out on their own. Parents who deeply love their kids find it hard to let go the part of their life where daddy and mummy are crucial for every little thing. But to impose yourself long after that kind of parenting is needed is wrong.
They Lived To Serve You: You should have a strong sense by now that the right form of parenting is somewhere in the middle of both extremes. You don’t want to throw your kids to the wolves but you also don’t want to serve them. When your kids are old enough to learn to cook, teach them to cook. When your kids are old enough to fo laundry, have them do laundry. When your kids are old enough to drive, for God’s sake, teach them to drive. It’s important you don’t pamper and serve your kids forever. They need to learn vital skills to maintain themselves as adults. One of the things I find myself bemoaning the most is how much skills have been loss between my grandparents and I. There are a lot of skills they have that I didn’t just have instilled in me. It’s important to give your kids the knowledge that you were given, and pampering them won’t teach them anything good.
They Threatened Or Intimidated You: It’s frustrating dealing with the little things with your kids. They often become afraid and unsure of things that are simply and second nature for you. They don’t always succeed at self-control which can endlessly difficult for a parent simple trying to parent the right way. But what you absolutely can’t do is level threats. “If you don’t —–, then —-. ” “If you ever —–, this is what is going to happen to you”. Under this kind authority, yes u have completely destroy the confidence your kids have in you. They won’t feel like they can come to you for help because a threat have been leveled and this is one of the major signs that you were raised by a bad parent. How can you really talk to a person candidly and honestly about what you’re going through if you feel the result is going to be a punishment of some kind.
They were Helicopter Parents: The millennial generation will tell horror stories about helicopter parenting. Check out any reedit threat about helicopter parent and you’ll sew the carnage they leave behind in the form of adult who don’t know up from down and left from right . when you have a baby, you have to it. You have to do everything in your power to care for it and make sure it survives. You have to honor their mistakes and appreciate their success and let them grow into independent people. If you don’t, you have Raised an adults who don’t have the skills necessary to succeed on their own.
They Never Listened To You: I’ll let you in on a secret: Kids aren’t stupid. They can read sarcasm and tell when you’re condescending and not listening to them because you think they some kind of dumb kids. Parents: you need to listen to your kids. When you listen to your kids, and I mean really listen, ir tells them that they are unique individuals who have something to offer this world that we’re living in. True, a 4years old probably won’t ever have something particularly compelling to say to you but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show them that what they say is important, because it actually is. Stuffs that seems mundane to you might absolutely be mind blowing to them. If a child tells you that she saw a brown dog that day, hear what they are saying. That might be the first for them. They want to talk about the incredible experiences they have the same way you do. Listen to your kids.
They Were Lazy: For some parents, kids come into the picture and it’s so overwhelming that they just kind of hit cruise control and zone out. Lots of frozen TV dinners and movies inth car. It’s easy to park a kid in front of the TV for 6 hours and then just sit around and be lazy, but being a parents takes work. It’s the hardest hob you can possibly have. But you have to actually teach your children things. You have to spend time with them, and instill all these healthy habits. It’s hard to get your kids eat well, but you have to. It’s hard to get your kids brush their teeth and floss, but you have to. It’s hard to teach your kids to manage their own home work, to drive a car, to get a good job, but all these things are so fundamental that you just have to teach them.